i heart xkcd

and here’s why: friends

kitten comfort

Last night I went home, and I don’t know if maybe my anti-anxiety meds wore off or something, but I just wasn’t in the best of moods.

We’re lacking antennae to watch basics in our apartment (they’re upstairs at jrosei & libby’s — though they belong to my roommate)… and we’re currently lacking internet until the 9th (had to switch from Mennogirl to Libby)… so that leaves these options: movies, reading, cleaning, or games.  Or the other option of just sleeping all evening until you finally decide to actually go to bed.

So, I curled up on the couch and had a minor little pity party for myself.  I had gotten it in my head that I had/have absolutely no chance with this really hot guy I like, and on top of that the last string of rejections had more to do with me then the guy or the situation.  So I buried myself under my blankets.

And as to be expected, my kittens have a fascination with many things, one of them being tunnelling under blankets.  So first Kaija joined me, climbed across my legs then over my back and then cuddled in by my belly.  Soon Tuija was in there too, and it was a little kitty spoonfest.  So we all cuddled and the kittens nuzzled me and each other.. purring loudly…   It wasn’t long before I relaxed and decided not to care about my lack of a chance or my singleness.

I don’t know.  I feel like I might be getting mixed signals from said attractive male (whom I may or may not have a chance with)… Maybe he’s flirting, maybe he’s just joking around as a friend… I don’t know.   Maybe I’m just dense, like many people in these situations, and need something a bit more obvious… Like “Hey, you’re cute.  I like you.  Let’s go out some time.”  Or the ever popular slightly random make-out sessions… Or if you still want to be subtle, physical touch isn’t always a bad thing — a quick back rub or pat that maybe lingers, a little squeeze on the arm, holding hands even…. hell, just smiling, making eye contact and maybe a little flirty wink or something… I don’t know.  But at this point I’m confused.

At least I have my kittens to come home to and cuddle with.
and they’re damn cute.  (just like me)

kaija v. the sink - round 1 take 2

an open letter to the male species:

I’d like to say that I’ve enjoyed our interactions in the past.  You’ve served as close friends, brothers (biological and otherwise), mentors, boyfriends, lovers and just general eye-candy.  I’ve appreciated that.  But can I just say, some of you are just damn frustratingly attractive.

It’s quite distracting.  My mind goes to goo, any connection I had from my brain to my mouth is practically destroyed, and I turn into an embarrassingly giggly mess.  If it seems like I’m not paying attention to you, it’s probably true.  I’m probably thinking about how much I’d rather just be making out with you — or sometimes more.  Even if it does seem like you have my full attention, there’s a good chance my mind is elsewhere.

Somewhere in history the idea that empowering women meant letting them make the moves and all that, so as not to force your masculinity on us and to show us that you think we’re equals… However, you send mixed signals when you run away with your tail between your legs after a girl shows interest.  I’m still not afraid to give out my number to someone I find attractive, but I wouldn’t mind having a guy take initiative and ask me to hang out or get drinks or whatever.  I’ve given you the means to contact me, so do it.  It’d be nice to be pursued every now and again.

To you attractive males, I shake my fist at your hotness.  You’ve tempted me with your attractive personalities and bodies to match.  I’m not necessarily looking for anything specific or grand or anything, but let’s just cut to the chase and have some fun and see where it goes.

Frustratingly yours,
Rini

PS- making out is fun, there should be more of that…  just a thought.

smote. in the face.

well damnit.  I’m smitten.  Again.

I think I must have just hit that phase of life where my just surrounded by enjoyable, awesome, and attractive males.  It’s like a plague.  Granted, with all this eye-candy, I’m not complaining.  Also, these are enjoyable people, so beyond just getting to look at them, I’m having fun spending time with them as well.
So far it’s just been in the win-win situations… I’m more looking forward to the win-win-win situation.  They’re hot, fun to hang out with, AND you get to make out with them; if it’s on a semi-regular basis then that’s just win.

But as has been noted, my dating life has sort of been on fail mode for a bit.  Not that it’s a big deal or that I’m all concerned about it.  I’m enjoying myself as it is.  But a little bit of win would be nice.

but it’s very nice…

I enjoy kissing.  It is indeed very nice.  Well… I have had bad kisses, but that’s not the topic of this discussion.

I have occasionally found myself in situations where I don’t really know what the kiss means.  It’s the whole “what happens next” issue.  I mean, you’re hanging out with someone, you’re having fun, you make out a bit… and then what?  Does this give you the access for more making out later?  Or is it a “we’re just having a bit of fun thing”?  … Or do you want to continue the physical bits?  I enjoy kissing, but some situations can be a bit ambiguous.

I mean, sometimes all you want to do is just have someone to make out with for a bit.  I definitely know a couple of guys where we like making out, but we don’t expect any sort of relationship to come out of it or anything.  It takes a bit of figuring things out to get to that stage though — there has to be understanding on both sides.. and well, it’s easy for things to get fuzzy.  But there’s also the times when it just sort of happens… Where kissing is sort of an appropriate response to the situation.  What the hell do you do after that?   This could lead to a relationship, a definite sign that the parties are interested… Or it could just be a “moment” thing, and once it’s done it’s done (even if there is mild interest between the parties).  And there’s the times when you’re drunk.  I will definitely admit that I tend to get a bit more flirty and personable when I’m drunk.  And this has lead to more than one make out sessions.

I don’t like leading people on, or being led on myself… but making out is just fun.  And I have been in the position where I didn’t want anything else afterward but the other person did…  It is indeed awkward.  But the period of time after making out with someone.. when you’re trying to figure things out, read into the situation.. it can definitely be frustrating.

Anybody have any suggestions for this post-kiss confusion?  Or any great kissing anecdotes?  Kiss and tell.

a kiss is not a contract - flight of the conchords

MCS: multiple crush syndrome

Lately I’ve found myself in the company of some pretty amazing people.
My social group is broadening and I’m enjoying myself (and them) tremendously.

One thing that comes from hanging out with some pretty amazing people, is eventually — and well, sometimes, in my case — you realize you’re actually infatuated with some of these people.  Yes indeed, crushes have been developing.  And yes, that is plural.

Now, I’ve had multiple infatuations before.  That’s not that uncommon for me.  But these are crushes, leaning into the “I’d like to date you” realm… on more than one person during the same time span.  It makes for an interesting personal situation, and well, it just adds to the fun seeing as some of these crushes happen to share the same social groups.

I find that in those situations, where I’m in a group and there’s more than one person I’m attracted to present, that I’ll either make a conscious effort on just one individual or I’ll attempt to just play it a little more neutral and make it look like I’m not more interested in one over another.  Picking one individual can be hard, typically it’ll be whomever I feel is responding positively to my general awesomeness, or on occasion I actually will have stronger leanings towards just one person (though I wouldn’t want to count out my other options).  Attempting to be a bit more neutral does work, but it tends to send off the friendship vibe a little stronger than I’d want for some crushes.  Also, combine that with alcohol and you get the reverse — one big, giant drunken ball of flirty awesomeness that is me.

Currently, I feel I may be taking a somewhat healthy approach to my MCS.  There are definitely a select few that I wouldn’t be too opposed to beginning a relationship either now or in the near future.  Another small handful of people who I’d just like to continue to get to know better and see if something might click.  And then a slightly larger group of people who are still basically in the infatuation camp who might develop into some sort of interest.  Rather just throwing myself head-first into this, just jumping in and directly saying “I want to date you” (though I might and have been decently obvious about my interest in them) — I’m taking my time.  Finessing the relationships a bit more.  Frankly it’s because I know how awesome these people are, and I can actually be satisfied with friendship.  (Though I will say, having a reliable and predetermined make-out partner is very nice.)

Though I definitely do not want to be overwhelmed by someone’s interest in me, I do want to feel desired.  I want my crushes to respond back and that maybe out of that something will actually develop.  I’m not necessarily looking for a serious relationship (something I believe I’ve mentioned before).  I’d like to go on dates.  I’d like to have someone to spend time with and just enjoy each other.  Just see where things go.