Archive for September, 2008

this email wins.

30 September 2008

So… I’m on this other website… and generally I get typical messages… which, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate.
It’s always fun to get emails from random males telling you that you: seem cool, are awesome, are beautiful, are sexy, look like Tina Fey (dark hair, dark eyes, and glasses, that’s all it takes)…

But this message that I got today wins.

“ello ello,

well, i was jogging on the internet one day, today as a matter of fact, and stumbled upon your profile, and proceeded to fall down quite a steep hill…so that sucked. But in anycase, after cleaning myself off and apologizing to the geese that i knocked into, i thought i’d say hi, so…*ahem* hello, *waves*

soo ya, not sure what else to write here besides that you seem like you do the ass kicking pretty well and are hip and with it, as the kids say these days… and ummm ya…i think this is where the creepers and potential stalkers say more detailed things about one particular picture or fact…butttt i got nottin…sorry

sooo if your bored or would like to chit and chat, feel free to give me a massage or someptin….okie dokie”

Okay.  Minus the spelling and gramatical things… this email still wins.


post-collegiate to hopeless…

30 September 2008

I created this blog less than a week ago and I already got tired of my first attempt with naming…

So, onward now.

Hopelessly yours… was the name of my radio show at 91.1FM WGCS The Globe.  Who knows.. maybe I’ll continue my Tribute to the Hopeless Romantics…

kitten liberation 2008

30 September 2008


Last Friday it was decided that I should release my kittens from their confines and let them run loose through the apartment.

It hasn’t been bad.
Lucyfur is still getting used to them, but well, as long as they give each other space things seem to be going all right.  Tuija and Kaija are enjoying the larger territory.  Also, they’re enjoying their other toys I had purchased for them, but didn’t want to keep in my room.

Their food bowls (which we’re trying to keep Lucy out of) and litterbox have been moved out of my bedroom, and I’ve begun sleeping in my own bed again.

Sadly, but not related to the kittens new freedom, I’ve acquired more scratch marks.  I’ve got five scratches on my thigh, a perfect paw mark, from a blocked jump by Tuija… and a couple from last night when she decided to use my shin as a spring board…

Generally Amusing Kitteny Things:

  • They’re getting better at this whole “cuddling” thing, and are learning to sit still… for a bit
  • They are so easily distracted.
  • The “I just woke up please love me” look
  • When they discover they have a tail — seriously, watching a kitten spin around until they’re too dizzy, only to have them spin again in the opposite direction… minutes of entertainment.
  • Their general chattiness.  Sometimes I think Tuis just likes the sound of her own voice.
  • They’re just so cute!  seriously.
  • This morning, when Tuija burrowed through some blankets and pillows on my chair…
  • Kaija really likes to burrow under blankets with me…

Less than Amusing Kitteny Things:

  • Kaija is generally burrowing to attack me.
  • Their strange obsession with chewing on my toes.
  • Their strange obsession with chewing on my papers.
  • They will occasionally hide one of my shoes under my dresser… where they’ve been chewing on it.
  • Attempting to eat my food off my plate as I’m holding it.
  • Amazingly sharp claws (which I should trim.. soon)

Overall though, I think the cute and fluffy factor wins out.

Things I’m looking forward to…

30 September 2008
  • Seeing my new stepmom (almost a month since the wedding)
  • The Globe (91.1FM WGCS) 50th Anniversary
  • A very short trip to Goshen (mostly due to the Globe’s 50th)
  • Seeing my beautiful momma!  (and seeing her rock out at church — she plays bass in the praise band)
  • Seeing my brother, and more so, seeing Lil G (my amazing niece)
  • Changing my hair — cut & color
  • Seeing Dexter & Bear — my childhood pets now under the care of my momma
  • Casiotone for the Painfully Alone concert (10.14.08)
  • Deerhoof concert (10.17.08)

this wins.

26 September 2008

a being v. a doing

26 September 2008

In a recent Windows/PC commercial, Deepak Chopra states “I am a human being. Not a human doing, not a human thinking — a human being.” There’s been some minor discussions about it on blogs, and even youtube. (Sorry, no links, you can consult with The Google if you’re interested. Or ask nicely.)

Commentators have called it cliche, that it ruined the ad, it was “retarded”… granted, others thought it was brilliant and the best line in the whole ad. I think if you really look at it, Chopra brings up something interesting.

The phrase “human being” has been around for a while, so when we hear it or read it, we tend to keep the phrase together. But in Chopra’s context it’s not a human being, it’s a human being. (Which I’m just going to assumed you’ve already gathered if you’ve seen the ad.)

So, that leads us to this: what are you? (And completely forget about any Mac v. PC issues.) A human doing? A human thinking? Or a human being? Despite Chopra’s opinions, is one truly better than the other?

Doing is implying that you’re just acting, more or less, out of habit, routine, or necessity. Comparable to a robot. Thinking is just that, thinking without actions. And then would being be a combination? Something that involves some sort of passion, and compassion — something deeper than just going through the steps. Is this what our Philosopher Chopra is getting at?

When we were little, the question was “what do I want to be” — as if there was some sort of grander purpose or a higher calling associated with every career we could imagine. As we grew, the question became “what do I want want to do (with my life)” — that either we had already discovered who we were a person, or that we could separate ourselves from our careers. Being a Program Assistant has little influence on who I am, it’s just what I’m currently doing.

One thing I appreciated from my alma matter was that many graduates signed a pledge to be deliberate and responsible when choosing a job. That we not let our need to earn a living replace our values — or rather, GC’s values (compassionate peacemakers, passionate learners, global citizens, servant leaders — all of which were “Christ Centered”). Now, I don’t feel that what I’m currently doing is something grand. But I do still try to live out the values that my family and my college tried to pound into me.

Anyway. I feel that I’m getting rambly. Maybe too much of a human thinking.

(Oh, apparently Deepak Chopra will be here in the Northern Territories next week, lecturing in a building just east of where my office is (which isn’t far seeing as I’m just off the lake). However, they are requiring a large sum of money to attend, so it looks like I’m going to be scouring the student news to see if there are any free speeches or class visits I can attend.)

Grab life by the … (thoughts on crushes)

25 September 2008

Recently, Mennogirl shared about some of her frustrations with crushes

This has sort of been a topic amongst the group for a bit, and well, my gorgeous friend Chrissy and I discuss the male species quite often.  I will say, we don’t necessarily harp on the issue of singleness.  Generally it’s about being simultaneously excited, pessimistic, and confused because of our various interests in whom we’re attracted to at the time.

It’s been commented that I’m pretty ballsy when it comes to approaching men.  (I’d like to think that if I ever did find a woman I was ever attracted to enough to want to date, I’d do the same.*)  I’m not opposed to directly telling someone if I’m interested.  Granted, I don’t always do that.  And I’m going to attempt to not discuss my current situation and interest (but I can just tell you, I think he’s pretty awesome… and hot)…

My brother likes to sort of live by the motto “Go big or go home”, you only have one life… Basically just grow a pair and do it.  (This is becoming a very testes-fill entry… hmm..)  Don’t back down.  No regrets. … Yeah.  On most occasions, I feel that if I like a person, I should just be upfront.  Yet, I’m finding that if I’m vocal in my interest… well, it hasn’t worked all that well.

Generally, I wait until I feel decently confident that the person should have gotten the hint that I’m interested without me necessarily stating so.  My last boyfriend (Sean, 2003-2005), once admitted that I was pretty aggressive.  He got the hint that I was interested.  Before we were dating… I ran into his dorm room and threw a smallish squeaky albatross at him, then scampered out of the room giggling.  Ah youth.

Anyway.  Crushes.  Bah.  Mennogirl’s discussion between her Pink fluffy brain and the voice of doubt/reason pretty much captures it.  It’s hard not getting caught up in a crush.  Social networking platforms don’t help — I’m looking at you fb/stalkernet.  For added reference, see this adventure from Fledg.  I mean, no one really wants to be the obsessed stalker chick.

I think this is sort of the underlying push for my directness.  I know my imagination oh too well.  I don’t necessarily trust it to govern itself when it comes to my infatuations.  (Again, let me refer you to the above mentioned post from Fledg.)  So, rather than letting my mind create and live out this relationship that isn’t there, I’d rather just find out if the other person is even interested and then go from there.  And well, that’s led to rejection and a slight deterring of new friendships.  But I’d rather just find out, why wait?  Granted, again, it’s different with each person I’m interested in.  There are times when I wonder if I am doing this more for myself than for the hopes of gaining a relationship.  Weed out the ones that probably wouldn’t develop into anything — and for the ones that I probably am more truly interested in, I’m a bit more inclined to just let things happen… let them develop on their own… (Some of this also comes from my hopeless romantic nature in that I kind of like it when the other person expresses interest…)

But I just put myself out there, then move on when the interests isn’t reciprocated.  On occasion, this has led to awkwardness.  Times when the other person feels that I’m still interested in them, when honestly, I’ve forgotten about it and am just interested in friendship.

Really, nothings come much from this — talking about it, self-examining it.  I’m still fairly direct, even if not verbally, when it comes to my interests in another person… I’m still currently single, however currently pretty attracted to someone (according to a third party, I “fallen” for them), yet well, I’ve still got no clue whether this person might even be remotely interested in pursuing a relationship with me.  I don’t even think I want much right now, just someone to spend time with, someone I enjoy, am attracted to, enjoy kissing, and well, that things could be exclusive… It’s basically friends with benefits that’s monogamous.  I mean, I pretty much want whomever I’m in a relationship to be someone I’m close friends with that I happen to make out with… (So much for not discussing my current situation.)

Anyway.  Crushes will probably always been frustrating.  I’m not sure if much can be done to change that.  I can’t really offer much advice to Mennogirl.  Either she will finally and somewhat directly (it doesn’t have to be verbally) express her interest to this guy, he may wise up and do the same, or they’ll just continue like this with Mennogirl probably giving up out of frustration or a lack of interest.  Best of luck dear, I am rooting for you.

*I do consider myself to be of the heterosexual persuasion.  However, if I ever were to find some amazing woman that completely blew me away, I wouldn’t deny myself the opportunity to be with her.  I just tend to not to be attracted to women, more so, I have yet to discover myself being sexually attracted to a woman.  Anyway.  That’s that.

my kittens have a serious case of the noms.

25 September 2008
Tuija & Kaija

Tuija & Kaija

So a month ago I added two little terrified bundles of fuzzy adorableness to my life in the form of 12-13 week old rescued kittens, sisters.  (Originally to be named Åsa and Lempi — but now are Tuija and Kaija.)

When I received the kittens, Kaija (my white & black kitten) had just gotten over having tape worm… and both of them had really mild cases of ringworm.  Because ringworm can be contagious and can even spread from animal to human, the kittens were put in quarantine in my room.  I was told this would last 15 days.

They received their medication and the ringworm (which you can sort of see the small patches on their noses) went away pretty quickly.  However, the kittens have yet to go back to the vet to get their check up so I can release them from my room.  My neighbor, who arranged for me to take the kittens, hasn’t yet followed through with arranging their next vet trip (she said she would find someone who would give me a break on the cost since they were rescued).  So, the kittens have been confined to my bedroom for a month.  I’ve been sleeping in the living room on a small studio sofa — rather than my nice full sized bed with tempur-pedic memory foam topper.

At first the kittens were really shy and timid.  Not the case any more.  Well, okay, so they’re still a bit shy around new people.  Tuija will warm up quicker to new people, mainly because she is a love-whore and if someone’s willing to show her some affection or play with her, she approves.  On the average day, though, it’s just me and the kits.  This generally consists of Tuis being extremely vocal about everything, and both of them running around my room (which is increasingly seeming smaller and smaller) terrorizing everything in their paths.

A couple weeks ago, Kai started biting.  Mostly my toes and fingers.  Now, both kittens have taken to chewing on things.  Mostly papers.  Receipts, notes, the calendar hanging on the wall, my old lease, and recently as mentioned previously, my book arts supplies.  Tuis has also decided that she likes playing with some of my clothing, even if I’m wearing it.

It’s been an adventure this past month.  One friend suggested stapling the kittens as a solution to their bedroom terrorism.  Probably not necessary.  They’re terribly cute and fluffy, so it’s hard to stay mad at them.  However, I feel that the kittens will need to get their official approval to have free range over the apartment (probably start harassing our other cat, Lucyfur) and so I can get my bedroom back.  Nothing like an overly friendly kitten when you’re trying to entertain a guest.

a mixing of blogs

24 September 2008

This probably annoys me more than it does anyone else… but due to some design constraints put in place by wordpress, I can’t remove the “Posted by” on all of my posts.
And since some people know I posses another blog, well, that’s honestly where the name comes from.

I’m not really comfortable mixing the two, but am out of options.
So just ignore it.

and I guess a minor fyi: that other blog is highly monitored and cross-referencing posts in comments won’t happen.  I might be more lenient here.

not really sure why I’m AR about this.

I’ve changed the display name since posting this, however, I guess it still bothers me… I’ll probably periodically change that name… dependent on mood.

Turning your Wednesday into a Monday, a narrative…

24 September 2008

So, typically (at least in some popular media), Monday is typically the worse day of the week.
It’s what we dread.  Or at least are told to.

Now, I don’t dread Wednesdays.  Nor do I really dread Mondays either…
However, this morning, this Wednesday morning, was slightly less than ideal.

Last night I decided to head into the City of Wind and check out an open mic night with a friend.  I hadn’t planned on staying in the Northern Territories that evening anyway, but my original plans were canceled and I didn’t really feel like staying home.
Regardless of going out — which I did return by 12:30a — that’s not what tipped the dominoes and toppled my morning.

My roommate, who generally showers in the evenings, beat me to the bathroom this morning.  My alarm hadn’t even gone off by the time she was in there.  So, rather than starting at my normal time, I was pushed back a bit.  This has happened before, and generally does not result in me being late.  I actually allow for a bit more time in the morning just in case this happens.

After my shower, I was mentally and nearly physically going through my entire woredrobe trying to find something I deemed suitable to wear for work (this is while trying to take care of two kittens).  This isn’t a jeans and t-shirt job.  Even though my boss wears jeans almost every day, I still have to dress “business casual” (though I am known to slack, jeans and a nice, clean shirt work for me).  Typically, I’m dressed by 7a — today, I didn’t even start putting clothes on until 7:15a.

Typically, again, I leave the apartment just after 7:30a, which allows me to saunter down to the train station to make the 7:41a Purple northbound.  However, the kittens being the adorable fuzzy demon children they are, I found myself continually moving books and important papers, along with removing them from my desk.  However, today the kittens decided to sample my book arts materials, more importantly, the paste paper I had made during my last undergraduate class ever.  My kittens have a serious case of the noms.

After putting away my bag of book arts supplies, I was able to leave home at 7:50a.  Being stalled slightly by a fellow passenger who decided to block the first turnstile while also being an obstacle for the other, I made it to the platform just after the train pulled away (the one after the 7:41).  It was after 8a when the next train came.  I am supposed to unlock the facility doors at 8a.

By the time all of this is done and I finally make it into the office, it’s nearly 8:30a.

Each one of these events wouldn’t normally be enough to make me late, but for whatever reason whatever deity or force you or I believe in decided that they all needed to occur this morning.  And since I was out the night before, my mind is telling me that I was irresponsible and shouldn’t have gone out on a work night.  However, I know completely that my going to the open mic with my friend played little impact on me being late to work.

So, basically, this is just a rant of my morning.