Posts Tagged ‘chrissy’

damn it feels good to be a gangster

26 November 2008

or: Things I Am Thankful For 2008

adorable.

1. Lil G
Most adorable niece ever.  Seriously.  She never ceases to amaze me, and is a pretty smart little girl.  I just want to spoil her, more so than she already is.  Plus, she gets bonus points for knowing all of the words to Rhianna’s “Umbrella” — as tired of the songs as you might be, it’s so worth hearing over and over again with this amazing 3 year old singing.

img_48282. My Momma
If you’ve ever wondered where my dorkiness comes from, yeah here’s it is.  All from mom.  She’s perfectly okay with it too.. which is awesome.  She feels the need to let me know whenever she sees a monkey, and is constantly sending me Get Fuzzy comics or lolcats.  And while some moms steal their children’s instruments because of the noise… my mom stole my electric guitar and my electric bass (which I stole from my brother) so she could play them.  Every Sunday she rocks out in her church’s praise band.. and yes, she does jump and play barefoot.  Pretty awesome for a grandma.

timmy3. Timmy!
Despite the typical older brother things (see: punching, headlocks, wrestling, cracked noses), my brother is really important to me.  I mean, yeah.  (see: the wench)  I still look up to him a lot.  And if I’m going to go shopping with anyone, Timmy is among my first choices.  I like his style, and he tends to find good things for me.  I don’t always agree with things he’s doing, or some of his choices… but I love my bubby.  And hopefully within a year’s time we’ll have similar tattoos (cherry blossoms).

family4. Dad, Cynthia & the girls
Actually.. I want to say, I am amazingly thankful for Cynthia.  She is a blessing to our family.  Other than Karen, my late stepmom, I can’t think of another woman to join our family and help raise my sisters.  Her humor works really well with dad’s — so that’s been great for him.  She’s well traveled, and sees the importance of a good education and higher education (meaning my sisters might be convinced to go to college even more so). She’s taken on a lot — never been married and now she’s got 4 girls at home, two adult children and a grandchild.  She’s pretty amazing in my eyes.  And as always, I’m thankful for the love and care that my dad gives me.  And I’m growing to appreciate my younger sisters more and more.

5. Family in general
My whole family is awesome — and I’m thankful for all of them… all of the grandparents (5 grandmas and 4 grandpas)… the aunts and uncles… all the cousins… I’ve got a pretty awesome and very supporting family and that’s been amazing.

6. My job
While I could do without the data entry and some of the tediousness.. I am indeed thankful for a full time job with benefits where not only am I paid well, but I’m appreciated.  I’ve got a boss who’s really understanding and actually is concerned about me and my goals outside of the facility.  Not many people are this lucky right out of school.  Plus, having a nice income with few bills.. well… my wardrobe, entertainment, and video game budget has definitely increased.  (I get to play with lasers and liquid nitrogen. bonus.)

7. The amazing group of people I call my friends
Seriously.  I feel pretty lucky.  I don’t even think I could name them all.  There have been a select few who have really been there for me and have seen me at my best and worse, and yet they still love me.  Two in particular I practically see as sisters now: Chrizzle and Mennogirl.  They’re pretty amazing.  And I’ve got my uber spectacular group of GC Kids whom I love and miss.  There’s my work friends (George whom I enjoy our evening walks to the train; and Dani and Meaghan who can only be described as wonderfully zany).  Topping everything off with some really amazing people who I’ve met recently — most of whom I’ve met thanks to Dan and Adam… The potluck group… The awesome folk of the reading band and the Mucca Pazza memebers I’ve been lucky enough to get to know… I’ve really got an amazing group of people in my life right now.  (Who else would put up with velociraptor attacks and nonstop dorky nerdom?)

8. The Kits.
Crazy as they may be… I love Tuija and Kaija.  They are just awesome little wonderpets.  Psycho little wonderpets sometimes… but awesome.  Two kittens are a bit much, but it wouldn’t feel right only having one of them.  Definitely a package deal.  And I’m appreciating how they’re morphing into cats and are enjoying a good cuddle.

9. Buffalo/Hot wings.
you taste so good.  there needs to be more of you in my life.

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home, bittersweet home….

21 October 2008

I moved to the Second City in June 2007.
I decided to move in May… I had thought about it before, but well, Chrissy sort of pushed that to a firm yes.  I think it may have taken me two weeks to find an apartment, sign a lease, and then move in to said apartment.

I was in Edgewater for about 9 months.  3 of those months I was an unemployed hermit.  I only left my apartment for food about once every two weeks.  Occasionally I’d head off to the library.  Mostly I stayed home in my 11 x 15 studio with one window.
This really wasn’t a healthy situation for me.

Eventually I found gainful employment, and due to Steph’s marriage, was asked to move to Evanston with live with Becca, Mennogirl, and jrosei.  There’s two apartments, one on 2nd (mine) and one on 3rd.  I actually only live with Becca.

There are a few things I didn’t know about when I moved… The deposit was huge.  My half was huge.  It was more than my buy-out fee for ending my lease 15 months early (never, never get a 2 year lease).  Also, the rent was really cheap, but this was because our building is considered low income (or something near that).  I knew it was a co-op, and that we’d own a share in the building.  This means attending meetings, assisting with work days, monthly cleaning, and basically being proactive as apart of the building community (as well as planning to be there for a bit longer term).

I acknowledge that I’m a difficult person to live with.  I have my quirks.  And apparently, I have some sort of mild OCD-neurosis when it comes to the kitchen — the fridge mainly.  However, Libby’s assured me, this isn’t a mental quirk, this is normal.
Anyway… moving into this apartment was definitely a healthy and good decision for me.  Since Chrissy moved away, I really needed to be around people.  More so than just work.  So moving in with “the girls” was a good thing for me.  We’d all gone to college together.  Mennogirl, jrosei and I lived in China together.  I knew Becca, but well, honestly we never hung out in college.  Living with her has been the first time for me to really get to know her.  There have been some challenges — again, this is me acknowledging I can be a difficult person to live with.

With my decision to attend grad school, I decided that I want to move closer to that campus and have a longer commute for work.  (Grad school would be in the loop, work is on the northern side of the Northern Territories.)  All of the girls, Libby now included (Mennogirl moved down the alley and Libby moved in), knew I had planned on moving for school.  My goal was to convince Chrissy to come back to me and we could live together.  This is still in negotiations.

Anyway.  With the uncertainty of who I’ll be living with, I at least have the neighborhood picked out.  Right now I’m focusing on moving down to the Southern Lands of Pilsen.  Weiss, who lives there, is assisting in finding some reasonable dwellings.  Since Chrissy is being all academic at grad school now, if she were to come back it would be in June.  However, after more talks with a handful of people, and more time spent down south, I have been toying with the idea that if for some sad reason Chrissy won’t move back, then I’d be willing to move in March.

I hadn’t mentioned this to my current roommate until last night.  I didn’t feel the need to add stress when I really don’t have any of the details worked out.  I only told her last night because I just now found out that she will be quitting her job in January and at this point doesn’t have a plan other than to just find work elsewhere.  With this information, it felt wrong not letting her know.

Anyway… without letting this post get too long… I’m having an interesting time dealing with this whole living situation.  I enjoy the girls, and there are a lot of aspects about the apt that I like.  However, I won’t deny that this hasn’t necessarily been my ideal situation.  It is definitely better than where I was at in many ways.  I’m becoming ready to move on.  But as my excitement builds, I feel this dragging guilt.  That in some ways I’m a bad person for moving.  That I shouldn’t feel so happy to be moving.

It’s my personal decision to move, and I have multiple reasons.  I’ve had a small handful of people telling me to move to Pilsen for well over 6 months now.  And while I realize that my move will change things, and put Becca into a situation she probably doesn’t want to be in — everything’s sort of raining on my parade.  I’ve been in a rainy (and hail-y) parade.  It’s no fun.

It’s hard to know where to be.  I don’t want my roommates to feel that I am abandoning them.  I realize it’s probably hard for them to be supportive of me and excited with/for me when it’s going to bring new challenges to them.  But, with risking sounding too selfish, I need this change.  The Northern Territories were good for me, but I’m ready to get back into an active social life — just an active life all together.  The kittens and I are ready for a new phase.

the daily habituals…

17 October 2008
morning routine - xkcd

morning routine - xkcd

So… I’ve actually been thinking of my morning routine for a few weeks now…. and I decided to share it (along with my whole day) with you. (aw, yay. .. right?)

Weekdays…

    1. 6:13a – alarm goes off, I’m either out of bed already, or debating whether to pull my comforter over my head…
    2. Shower — hot, steamy goodness.  5-20minutes.  depends on how I feel.
    3. sitting at either my computer or my laptop (in the living room), checking the weather, email, facebook, the interblags, and possibly watching the last Daily Show on hulu.
    4. somewhere near 7a – get dressed.
    5. dental hygiene, hair, make up.
    6. grab lunch, take vitamins (if I remember), pack bag
    7. shoo kittens out of my room, turn off my music, put on shoes
    8. leave for work — 4 El stops.
    9. ~8a – Work.  Work. Lunch.  Work.  Interblags.  Work.
    10. ~5p – leave work — ride the El with George.  (I do actually look forward to this)
    11. ~5:25p – arrive home.
    12. Kittens, foodstuff, interblags, reading, random mild debauchery, maybe a movie…. chaos and whatnot.
    13. turn on music, dental hygiene, change into my peejays, go to bed…
    14. 1 hour later… kick kittens out of my bed room
    15. fall asleep.

      Weekends…
      wake up, See Weekday# 2, 3, get dress about 30-40 minutes later (sometimes longer), 5, 12, 12, 12 (probably with friends), 13, 14, 15

      You also have to throw in random things like:
      dancing, calling mom, talking with Chrissy, dancing, velociraptor attacks, and lot of randomness with various friends who are awesome, reading band once a month (started by Mucca Pazza), non-profit planning meeting (started by the reading band), more dancing, meandering around the city, and (hopefully) potlucks on sunday*

      Yep.  That’s pretty much it.

      *I’ve only been to one.  Had a superb time.  Hoping to attend more.

      Grab life by the … (thoughts on crushes)

      25 September 2008

      Recently, Mennogirl shared about some of her frustrations with crushes

      This has sort of been a topic amongst the group for a bit, and well, my gorgeous friend Chrissy and I discuss the male species quite often.  I will say, we don’t necessarily harp on the issue of singleness.  Generally it’s about being simultaneously excited, pessimistic, and confused because of our various interests in whom we’re attracted to at the time.

      It’s been commented that I’m pretty ballsy when it comes to approaching men.  (I’d like to think that if I ever did find a woman I was ever attracted to enough to want to date, I’d do the same.*)  I’m not opposed to directly telling someone if I’m interested.  Granted, I don’t always do that.  And I’m going to attempt to not discuss my current situation and interest (but I can just tell you, I think he’s pretty awesome… and hot)…

      My brother likes to sort of live by the motto “Go big or go home”, you only have one life… Basically just grow a pair and do it.  (This is becoming a very testes-fill entry… hmm..)  Don’t back down.  No regrets. … Yeah.  On most occasions, I feel that if I like a person, I should just be upfront.  Yet, I’m finding that if I’m vocal in my interest… well, it hasn’t worked all that well.

      Generally, I wait until I feel decently confident that the person should have gotten the hint that I’m interested without me necessarily stating so.  My last boyfriend (Sean, 2003-2005), once admitted that I was pretty aggressive.  He got the hint that I was interested.  Before we were dating… I ran into his dorm room and threw a smallish squeaky albatross at him, then scampered out of the room giggling.  Ah youth.

      Anyway.  Crushes.  Bah.  Mennogirl’s discussion between her Pink fluffy brain and the voice of doubt/reason pretty much captures it.  It’s hard not getting caught up in a crush.  Social networking platforms don’t help — I’m looking at you fb/stalkernet.  For added reference, see this adventure from Fledg.  I mean, no one really wants to be the obsessed stalker chick.

      I think this is sort of the underlying push for my directness.  I know my imagination oh too well.  I don’t necessarily trust it to govern itself when it comes to my infatuations.  (Again, let me refer you to the above mentioned post from Fledg.)  So, rather than letting my mind create and live out this relationship that isn’t there, I’d rather just find out if the other person is even interested and then go from there.  And well, that’s led to rejection and a slight deterring of new friendships.  But I’d rather just find out, why wait?  Granted, again, it’s different with each person I’m interested in.  There are times when I wonder if I am doing this more for myself than for the hopes of gaining a relationship.  Weed out the ones that probably wouldn’t develop into anything — and for the ones that I probably am more truly interested in, I’m a bit more inclined to just let things happen… let them develop on their own… (Some of this also comes from my hopeless romantic nature in that I kind of like it when the other person expresses interest…)

      But I just put myself out there, then move on when the interests isn’t reciprocated.  On occasion, this has led to awkwardness.  Times when the other person feels that I’m still interested in them, when honestly, I’ve forgotten about it and am just interested in friendship.

      Really, nothings come much from this — talking about it, self-examining it.  I’m still fairly direct, even if not verbally, when it comes to my interests in another person… I’m still currently single, however currently pretty attracted to someone (according to a third party, I “fallen” for them), yet well, I’ve still got no clue whether this person might even be remotely interested in pursuing a relationship with me.  I don’t even think I want much right now, just someone to spend time with, someone I enjoy, am attracted to, enjoy kissing, and well, that things could be exclusive… It’s basically friends with benefits that’s monogamous.  I mean, I pretty much want whomever I’m in a relationship to be someone I’m close friends with that I happen to make out with… (So much for not discussing my current situation.)

      Anyway.  Crushes will probably always been frustrating.  I’m not sure if much can be done to change that.  I can’t really offer much advice to Mennogirl.  Either she will finally and somewhat directly (it doesn’t have to be verbally) express her interest to this guy, he may wise up and do the same, or they’ll just continue like this with Mennogirl probably giving up out of frustration or a lack of interest.  Best of luck dear, I am rooting for you.

      *I do consider myself to be of the heterosexual persuasion.  However, if I ever were to find some amazing woman that completely blew me away, I wouldn’t deny myself the opportunity to be with her.  I just tend to not to be attracted to women, more so, I have yet to discover myself being sexually attracted to a woman.  Anyway.  That’s that.