Posts Tagged ‘libby’

kitten comfort

5 December 2008

Last night I went home, and I don’t know if maybe my anti-anxiety meds wore off or something, but I just wasn’t in the best of moods.

We’re lacking antennae to watch basics in our apartment (they’re upstairs at jrosei & libby’s — though they belong to my roommate)… and we’re currently lacking internet until the 9th (had to switch from Mennogirl to Libby)… so that leaves these options: movies, reading, cleaning, or games.  Or the other option of just sleeping all evening until you finally decide to actually go to bed.

So, I curled up on the couch and had a minor little pity party for myself.  I had gotten it in my head that I had/have absolutely no chance with this really hot guy I like, and on top of that the last string of rejections had more to do with me then the guy or the situation.  So I buried myself under my blankets.

And as to be expected, my kittens have a fascination with many things, one of them being tunnelling under blankets.  So first Kaija joined me, climbed across my legs then over my back and then cuddled in by my belly.  Soon Tuija was in there too, and it was a little kitty spoonfest.  So we all cuddled and the kittens nuzzled me and each other.. purring loudly…   It wasn’t long before I relaxed and decided not to care about my lack of a chance or my singleness.

I don’t know.  I feel like I might be getting mixed signals from said attractive male (whom I may or may not have a chance with)… Maybe he’s flirting, maybe he’s just joking around as a friend… I don’t know.   Maybe I’m just dense, like many people in these situations, and need something a bit more obvious… Like “Hey, you’re cute.  I like you.  Let’s go out some time.”  Or the ever popular slightly random make-out sessions… Or if you still want to be subtle, physical touch isn’t always a bad thing — a quick back rub or pat that maybe lingers, a little squeeze on the arm, holding hands even…. hell, just smiling, making eye contact and maybe a little flirty wink or something… I don’t know.  But at this point I’m confused.

At least I have my kittens to come home to and cuddle with.
and they’re damn cute.  (just like me)

kaija v. the sink - round 1 take 2

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I live under a rock.

13 November 2008

Seriously.

I feel like I am the only person who hasn’t seen the Dark Knight.
At least in my social group.

And for the past couple of weeks I’ve seen countless pictures of my friends, and others, dressed up like the late Heath Ledger… Pretty much always with the same caption, “Why so serious” … !!! (yes, at this point I can only express my frustration through punctuations.)

It’s not like I didn’t try to see the movie.  The Dark Knight has been one giant epic fail for me.

– Opening day, my roommates go without me.  All three of them (this was before Libby moved in).  I mean, they went to a matinee, and I was at work (and even worked until 7 that day).. but still, I kinda would have liked to have been invited or known about it.. we could have waited ONE day so I could go… but I got over it with the assumptions that one or more of them might be up for seeing it again.

– Actually going to a theater with Libby and Zach, this time, I really think I’m going to get to see it.  We get there, and well, they only have one seat left.  We give up and walk about Navy Pier.  We also discuss making another attempt later — which doesn’t happen.  L & Z see it together later.  I’m not disappointed because dating people do that whole “us” time thing.  And I try to encourage that sometimes too.

– I ask Adam if he’ll go since only two theaters in the area are playing it.  Unfortunately he’s seen it like 3 times or something, twice on IMAX.. so he’s not all that interested.

– Dan invited me up to the far north to see it with another friend of his.  Said friend ends up not wanting to see a movie with me, or maybe just in general.  Movie doesn’t happen, and Dan feels bad… but I assure him that I’m okay because well, it’s not the first time and it’s really okay.

Basically after that I gave up.

So I still haven’t seen it.  Not that it’s a huge thing.  I generally don’t go out to movies.  I like theaters — and well, love theater popcorn (even after working in a theater for just over 2 years in high school) — I’m just kinda cheap.  Well, let me rephrase that.  I’m selectively cheap.  I’ll spend money on clothing, shoes, books, and video games… But for some reason paying for a movie ticket is different.  However, if the right person asked me, I might be willing to change.

you should buy me a wii (part 2)

7 November 2008

Video Double Feature.

Guitar Hero v Air Guitar Hero

2 Girls 1 Guitar


Sorry this one’s so short… my memory card ran out of space.

you should buy me a wii (part 1)

7 November 2008

I’ve been craving a Wii for a while now, but for financial reasons didn’t really think too much about it. I had friends with Wiis, so I played every once in a while, plus for a while I just didn’t have time for video games (I know, blasphemy).

But now… This is the time.  I need a Wii.  In fact, the original plan was for me to buy one tomorrow.  … However, due to some unfortunate events I missed 3 days of work unpaid… so I’m not sure if a Wii is in the budget this time.  And well, I’m freaking impatient — so waiting two more weeks for the next paycheck is going to be torture.  Plus, I also feel odd buying myself some of these really awesome, and pricey, things just before the holidays — when my family can purchase these things for me.  Again, impatient.

Buying my DS Lite has really reminded me how much I miss and enjoy video games.  If I could, I would own all the major platforms — though I’m really just excited about the Wii and an Xbox 360.  (No offense to Sony — the PS3 is awesome, I just haven’t had a push for that over the Xbox.)  If I could, I think I would spend all of my time at Zach’s (Libby’s boyfriend)… He and his roommate Morgan have more than enough video games to keep me occupied until I can buy my own.  And well, it’s from gaming at his place that as pushed me over the edge in my desires to own a Wii….

true rockstar

true rockstar

Why?
Guitar Hero III.

As silly as I think the game is, it’s incredibly addicting and I’m simply hooked.  There was only two ways I could go with this game: either I was going to love it and be mildly decent at it or I was going to have an epic fail.  But following my true awesome nature, I indeed rocked (as the game told me many times).

My biggest issue is that I tend to skip over songs that I either don’t quite care for aurally, or just simply don’t know.  Obviously I realize they can’t tailor the game to my musical fixations… but from what I’ve seen of World Tour… I don’t think I’ll be terribly disappointed.  I even noticed one of my ringtones on there (Modest Mouse – Float On; Psapp and John Lennon also grace my phone — and, only when the MennoJerk calls, the Super Mario Bros Theme).

.. Anyway.  Since I’m familiar with Guitar Hero, I’m starting off with that.  It means I can easily join up with others — aka Zach and Morgan — and not have to worry about buying a lot of extras.  I will, at some point, purchase Rock Band.  I’ve looked over their playlist and am please.  Plus, a bonus, they’ll be adding Beatles songs (or so my mother has informed me).

Well… At this point, I’m just going to conclude with some visuals for you…. there will be video in part 2.

showing how it's done.

showing how it's done

a blurry ball of awesomeness

a blurry ball of awesomeness

home, bittersweet home….

21 October 2008

I moved to the Second City in June 2007.
I decided to move in May… I had thought about it before, but well, Chrissy sort of pushed that to a firm yes.  I think it may have taken me two weeks to find an apartment, sign a lease, and then move in to said apartment.

I was in Edgewater for about 9 months.  3 of those months I was an unemployed hermit.  I only left my apartment for food about once every two weeks.  Occasionally I’d head off to the library.  Mostly I stayed home in my 11 x 15 studio with one window.
This really wasn’t a healthy situation for me.

Eventually I found gainful employment, and due to Steph’s marriage, was asked to move to Evanston with live with Becca, Mennogirl, and jrosei.  There’s two apartments, one on 2nd (mine) and one on 3rd.  I actually only live with Becca.

There are a few things I didn’t know about when I moved… The deposit was huge.  My half was huge.  It was more than my buy-out fee for ending my lease 15 months early (never, never get a 2 year lease).  Also, the rent was really cheap, but this was because our building is considered low income (or something near that).  I knew it was a co-op, and that we’d own a share in the building.  This means attending meetings, assisting with work days, monthly cleaning, and basically being proactive as apart of the building community (as well as planning to be there for a bit longer term).

I acknowledge that I’m a difficult person to live with.  I have my quirks.  And apparently, I have some sort of mild OCD-neurosis when it comes to the kitchen — the fridge mainly.  However, Libby’s assured me, this isn’t a mental quirk, this is normal.
Anyway… moving into this apartment was definitely a healthy and good decision for me.  Since Chrissy moved away, I really needed to be around people.  More so than just work.  So moving in with “the girls” was a good thing for me.  We’d all gone to college together.  Mennogirl, jrosei and I lived in China together.  I knew Becca, but well, honestly we never hung out in college.  Living with her has been the first time for me to really get to know her.  There have been some challenges — again, this is me acknowledging I can be a difficult person to live with.

With my decision to attend grad school, I decided that I want to move closer to that campus and have a longer commute for work.  (Grad school would be in the loop, work is on the northern side of the Northern Territories.)  All of the girls, Libby now included (Mennogirl moved down the alley and Libby moved in), knew I had planned on moving for school.  My goal was to convince Chrissy to come back to me and we could live together.  This is still in negotiations.

Anyway.  With the uncertainty of who I’ll be living with, I at least have the neighborhood picked out.  Right now I’m focusing on moving down to the Southern Lands of Pilsen.  Weiss, who lives there, is assisting in finding some reasonable dwellings.  Since Chrissy is being all academic at grad school now, if she were to come back it would be in June.  However, after more talks with a handful of people, and more time spent down south, I have been toying with the idea that if for some sad reason Chrissy won’t move back, then I’d be willing to move in March.

I hadn’t mentioned this to my current roommate until last night.  I didn’t feel the need to add stress when I really don’t have any of the details worked out.  I only told her last night because I just now found out that she will be quitting her job in January and at this point doesn’t have a plan other than to just find work elsewhere.  With this information, it felt wrong not letting her know.

Anyway… without letting this post get too long… I’m having an interesting time dealing with this whole living situation.  I enjoy the girls, and there are a lot of aspects about the apt that I like.  However, I won’t deny that this hasn’t necessarily been my ideal situation.  It is definitely better than where I was at in many ways.  I’m becoming ready to move on.  But as my excitement builds, I feel this dragging guilt.  That in some ways I’m a bad person for moving.  That I shouldn’t feel so happy to be moving.

It’s my personal decision to move, and I have multiple reasons.  I’ve had a small handful of people telling me to move to Pilsen for well over 6 months now.  And while I realize that my move will change things, and put Becca into a situation she probably doesn’t want to be in — everything’s sort of raining on my parade.  I’ve been in a rainy (and hail-y) parade.  It’s no fun.

It’s hard to know where to be.  I don’t want my roommates to feel that I am abandoning them.  I realize it’s probably hard for them to be supportive of me and excited with/for me when it’s going to bring new challenges to them.  But, with risking sounding too selfish, I need this change.  The Northern Territories were good for me, but I’m ready to get back into an active social life — just an active life all together.  The kittens and I are ready for a new phase.

a summary of three days

20 October 2008

My weekend started with seeing Deerhoof at the Metro. Adam, Weiss and I decided to meet up for all you can eat sushi beforehand. Indeed. The ninja roll wasn’t terrible (though Adam didn’t like it), but the tofu roll went over well (as I knew it would).
Anyway. Deerhoof included free tortilla chips and bread. Plus, it was just an all around enjoyable concert. I wish I was a little asian girl. And a drummer. I’ve decided I sort of like (good) female drummers*.

my latest addiction

my latest addiction

This beauty pwnd my saturday. Seriously.
I had thought about purchasing one for a while.  I nearly bought one while in NYC a few years back with WGCS — we were at a radio conference.  There was much win for the Globe that trip.  (We brought a Wii with us.)
Anyway.  DS.  Shiny.  I bought two games to start with — Brain Age and Mario Party — but will gladly take old used games off anyone’s hands.  Hell, I’ll take new games too.
I have a feeling my mom will buy me Super Monkey Ball for christmas…

Sunday was a national holiday.  Hopefully you didn’t miss out on it.  It’s too bad if you did.
Libby‘s birthday.
Much fun was had.
I started my day with her, attending her church — which mostly made me miss attending Meeting.  I might start going again… After church was lunch at Buffalo Joe’s — which will be featured on Wing Chicks soon.  I played more DS… and then met up with Libby and her man Zach… and we all progressed to dinner at a tapas restaurant.  Becca, jrosei, and Mennogirl met up with us a bit later (apparently The Google can be wrong).  … I skipped out before dessert.

Eventually I found my way to a Pink Line, and was heading to the Southern Lands of Pilsen.
Potluck is always a good time.
I succeeded at spending more than 30 minutes with Dan too.  (And I’m starting to believe that he’s possibly one of my best dressed friends.)
My day concluded with good people, good conversation, and more wine.  (Oh. Yeah.  Zombie Zin = not half bad and pretty easy to drink.)   I’m thoroughly enjoying this attractive group of people and definitely am looking forward to Sunday evenings.  And well, I think it’s been decided that there will be a migration from the Northern Territories to the South… in less than a year.

*(asian) female drummer not found in deerhoof.. but in one of the openers…

things to look forward to (10.16.08)

16 October 2008
  • Deerhoof tomorrow night (w/ Weiss, Jesse, Roselyn, & Adam)
  • art gallery show closing (artwork by:

The Reading of the Desserts

8 October 2008

The Reading of the Desserts.

From Mennogirl‘s birthday dinner at Tapas.

one flew over… (an introduction to my mind)

7 October 2008

So, I’ve claimed at various times to have an overactive imagination.

It can definitely be a love-hate relationship, but for the most part, I wouldn’t want to give it up.

One of the simplest ways of describing my imagination is that my mind doesn’t really have an off switch.  Yes, I can “zone out”, but typically there’s something going on up there and I’m so focused/distracted by it that I sort of loose touch with what’s around me.
There’s really no good way of putting into words what’s happening in my mind.

Some times it’s like my life’s a movie or some sort of show, and there’s this invisible audience.  I can see exactly how I’d want the camera to move and frame the shot for that particular instance in my life.  Of course, when I was working in film, that was sort of nice and welcomed.  Making those shots into reality weren’t always easy, but it was nice to have some sort of vision for the project.

Occasionally it’s like having various people, or sometimes a zoo, up there.  JenJen!theamazing and I discussions on this throughout high school, as she has a league of muses that have entertained and assisted her for a while.  It’s not like hearing voices.  Though, well, occasionally you do have to question your sanity.

The whole questioning my sanity thing has been sort of difficult at times.  A lot of times it’s just laughing things off as “wow I’m weird”… but there are times when I really don’t know if something actually happened, or if I imagined it.  Did I really have that conversation?  Or, what ended up being extremely taxing on my emotional well-being, I question whether I’m creating issues.

In high school, I began having unexplainable health issues.  I was in ceramics, it was the morning, and I just became extremely dizzy.  I remember my teacher having to walk me down to the nurse’s office.  While I was sitting there, the nurse asked why I was holding my hands like that — curled into claws.  I had no clue, I was still dizzy.  But then panic set in.  I couldn’t move my fingers.  After about an hour of panic and struggle, my right hand slowly regained movement.  My left hand was stuck.  And so began my journey into the world of medical tests and general annoyances.

The paralysis lasted about ten days.  Came back right in time for junior prom — granted, it was still decently useless as I continually dropped things.  So well, basically, I had a small selection of friends who were convinced that I had faked the entire ordeal.  Mine you, this particular ordeal included MRIs, MRAs, various x-rays, lots of blood work, a trip to a neurologist, and a rather painful electro-shock-like test that I never want to endure again.  And basically, because it has been.. oh, 6 or so years since all of this began… and various doctors and neurologists haven’t figured anything out… I began questioning whether all of my symptoms were in my head too…  Granted, that was a load of crap.  They might be made worse my stress, but I’m pretty positive I didn’t fake this.

But given that my mind does wander, and sometime uncontrollably, until I get a diagnosis — any diagnosis — there’s always going to be that small fraction of a percent of doubt in my head.  Anyway.  That’s just one side of it.

Generally, the overactive imagination hasn’t been too bad.  I am pretty easily amused.  A lot of times, rather than just get a song stuck in my head, it’s a whole music/dance video.. and yes, most of the time, I’m the star.  (But a lot of that has to do with my own self-confidence, which in itself can amuse me — I am damn awesome.)

UNICORNS!

UNICORNS!

A lot of times I can control things.  But as my close friends will admit, the randomness that I can produce is just truly.. beyond words.

(Mennogirl‘s recent birthday dinner being a decent example — OMG VELOCIRAPTOR ATTACK!  or.. unicorns! — sadly, no velociraptor pictures exist.)